Self Reflection


Seems like ages since I've sat down and written something on my blog. The first half of 2018 was a learning experience like none other. So many negative things are happening in our world; our country and I don't know where start to address them. To be honest, I don't have the emotional brain capacity and I say that not to sound arrogant but just as the perspective of a black woman in America who is exhausted of fighting just because she exists. From the harm, both physically and mentally, that we go through to the bigotry that is our current administration, sharing my thoughts on the latest pair of boots that were gifted to me didn't seem at all ethical. Personally I felt as if what I had to say as a fashion blogger talking about "fashion blogger things" wasn't important. In my mind, my words on social media, compared to the social issue stories I heard on the news, seemed minuscule. I still feel the same way in that there are more important things in this life than showing off what rings I'm wearing today or giving you tips on how to get the perfect skin. Innocent children are being separated from their parents, young black adults who are my age are getting stabbed on train rides home just because of the color their skin. Why would showing you the color of my new nail design even matter? These social moments of grief our country continuously lives through while being in the position of someone who is expected to only talk "fashion" is so conflicting.

Sure, there may be some of you out there that think this perspective I have is all performative. That I'm even lucky to be alive and be given the privileges to write down my thoughts and share them on my own space on the internet. Or think because I haven't completely limited myself to posting on social media that I'm not 100% actually unsure of my online presence but rather have just grown to be inconsistent and/or otherwise not interesting. All these things are valid because they're your opinion, I can't take that away from you, I can only speak my truth and live my life according to how I see fit. (But also, not sure what you're doing on my blog if you're a skeptic of my brand in the first place, but we can discuss that later.)

In the last 6 months, I've grown to understand that not all things are in my control. I've also learned that halting the way I express who I am as an individual should not be short-changed. I took a break from blogging to return back to my center. I wanted to get back to that place from where I started blogging to begin with, which was because I found joy expressing myself through style and to be a representation for others African girls on the web who wouldn't let the social stigmas of this country be how she allowed the world to perceive her. I'm finding that being my authentic self is what matters most to me, even if that means burning bridges with brands that didn't agree with how I want to be exemplified. 

I'll be slowly but surely blogging regularly because it's what makes me happy as well as sharing my voice + opinions on social matters that are dear to my heart. I thank everyone who has been with TheOxfordist.com from the start and I also thank those who are barely tuning into the show.

TL;DR - Grew a lot, learned a lot, I'm back to blogging regularly. 

Feel free to contact me anytime about questions you may have or if you just want to drop a "hello". All contact information is here

xx
Jessica

 

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